ACT in Action: Using Values-Based Goals to Propel Your Life Forward
By mid-January, something familiar tends to happen.
The initial spark of the new year has worn off. The routines feel harder to sustain. The motivation that felt so alive on January 1st feels quieter now — or gone entirely. Some people feel discouraged that they’re already "falling behind." Others feel resistant to the whole idea of New Year’s goals altogether, sensing that resolutions often feel performative, pressuring, or disconnected from real life.
If either of these resonate, I want to offer something important right away:
There is nothing wrong with you if motivation feels fragile right now.
From an ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) perspective, the issue is often not willpower — it’s misalignment. When goals are rooted in shame, comparison, or cultural expectations, they tend to collapse under pressure. When goals are rooted in your actual values, they become something very different: grounded, sustainable, and meaningful.
This is where values-based goal setting becomes a powerful alternative to traditional New Year’s resolutions.
What Is ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)?
ACT is a modern, evidence-based approach to therapy that focuses on helping people build psychological flexibility — the ability to stay present, open, and engaged with life even when difficult thoughts and emotions arise.
Rather than trying to eliminate anxiety, self-doubt, procrastination, or lack of motivation, ACT helps you learn how to:
Make space for difficult inner experiences without being overwhelmed by them
Step out of unhelpful thought patterns
Reconnect with what matters most to you
Take meaningful action aligned with your values
At the heart of ACT is a compassionate, grounding question:
“What kind of person do I want to be, especially when life feels hard?”
Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail (and Why That’s Not Your Fault)
Many traditional goal-setting approaches emphasize discipline, hustle, and self-control. The underlying message often becomes:
“If I were more motivated, more disciplined, more together, I would be doing better by now.”
This framing subtly fuels shame — and shame is one of the most powerful demotivators there is.
ACT offers a different lens. Instead of asking, “What should I be achieving this year?”, we ask:
“What actually matters to me, underneath the noise?”
Goals that are rooted in external pressure (culture, social media, productivity culture, family expectations) often feel heavy. Goals rooted in values tend to feel meaningful, self-honouring, and more resilient when motivation fluctuates — which it inevitably does.
Values vs. Goals: A Crucial Distinction
In ACT, the difference between values and goals is foundational.
Values
Values are ongoing qualities of action. They are directions you choose to orient your life toward, not boxes you check off.
Examples of values include:
Authenticity
Compassion
Creativity
Growth
Integrity
Connection
Freedom
Spirituality
Curiosity
Justice
You never “complete” a value. You live it, return to it, practice it — again and again, especially in ordinary moments.
Goals
Goals are specific, achievable actions that express your values in real life.
For example:
If you value connection, a goal might be: “Text one friend each week to genuinely check in.”
If you value creativity, a goal might be: “Spend 20 minutes sketching on Sunday mornings.”
If you value growth, a goal might be: “Have one courageous conversation I’ve been avoiding.”
Values provide the why. Goals provide the how.
When goals are disconnected from values, they often feel draining or hollow. When they are anchored in values, they tend to feel motivating even when they’re challenging.
A Mid-January Reframe: You Don’t Need More Motivation — You Need More Meaning
Many people in mid-January believe they need to “get their motivation back.” ACT suggests something gentler and more sustainable:
Instead of chasing motivation, clarify meaning.
Motivation is a feeling state — and like all feelings, it naturally ebbs and flows. Values-based living doesn’t depend on constant motivation. It relies on intention, direction, and self-compassion.
This is why values-based goals often succeed where resolutions fail. They aren’t about forcing yourself to become a better version of yourself. They are about slowly aligning your life with who you already are beneath the noise.
How to Identify Your Core Values (Especially If You Feel Foggy Right Now)
Mid-January can be a tender time. Energy may be lower. Hope might feel quieter. That doesn’t disqualify you from doing values work — it actually makes it more relevant.
Here are gentle ACT-inspired reflections:
1. Look to Moments of Aliveness (Not Perfection)
Ask yourself:
When in my life have I felt most like myself?
What moments have felt nourishing, meaningful, or real?
What kinds of experiences leave me feeling more connected rather than depleted?
These moments often reveal core values such as connection, depth, creativity, autonomy, or care.
2. Notice What Hurts
This may sound counterintuitive, but pain often points toward values.
If loneliness hurts, you may value connection.
If burnout hurts, you may value rest, balance, or meaning.
If being unseen hurts, you may value authenticity.
Our struggles are often signposts toward what matters most.
3. Imagine Your Life Feeling Honest
Instead of imagining an idealized future, try asking:
If my life felt more honest, what would be different?
How would I be treating myself?
How would I be relating to others?
These answers tend to be quieter but truer than traditional resolution lists.
Turning Values Into Sustainable, Mid-January-Friendly Goals
ACT emphasizes that goals should be small, realistic, and compassionate — not overwhelming or perfectionistic.
A helpful question is:
“What is one small action I could take this week that moves me toward the kind of person I want to be?”
Example 1: Value = Connection
Send one thoughtful voice note to someone you care about
Schedule one low-pressure coffee date this month
Share something real with your therapist instead of staying surface-level
Example 2: Value = Self-Compassion
Take one actual lunch break instead of eating while working
Practice noticing self-criticism and responding with gentler language
Let yourself rest without needing to earn it
Example 3: Value = Growth
Read five pages of a meaningful book before bed
Journal for ten minutes once a week
Take one small risk you’ve been avoiding
These aren’t flashy goals. They’re livable goals. And over time, they shape a life that feels more coherent and authentic.
What If Anxiety, Resistance, or Self-Doubt Show Up?
They will. That’s part of being human.
ACT doesn’t treat fear as something to eliminate before living. Instead, it teaches you how to:
Notice anxious thoughts without automatically obeying them
Make room for discomfort while staying connected to your values
Choose meaningful action even when it feels vulnerable
For example, someone who values honesty may still feel anxious about setting boundaries. ACT supports learning how to bring the anxiety along — gently — rather than waiting for it to disappear.
This is how confidence is built: not through fearlessness, but through values-aligned courage.
Values-Based Living Is Not About Reinventing Yourself
This is especially important to emphasize in the New Year culture:
ACT is not about becoming a different person. It’s about returning to who you already are beneath survival strategies, expectations, and self-criticism.
You might ask yourself in ordinary moments:
How do I want to speak to myself today?
How do I want to show up in my relationships?
What kind of presence do I want to bring into my work?
How do I want to care for my nervous system this winter?
These small, daily choices quietly shape a meaningful life.
How Therapy Can Support Values-Based Goal Setting
Many people find that working with a therapist trained in ACT allows for deeper clarity, especially when motivation feels inconsistent or when past patterns keep resurfacing.
ACT-informed therapy can help you:
Clarify your authentic values (separate from internalized expectations)
Understand the emotional and relational blocks that keep you stuck
Set realistic, values-aligned goals
Work compassionately with anxiety, shame, grief, or trauma responses
Build sustainable momentum toward meaningful change
Rather than pushing you to “do more,” this approach supports you in living more truthfully.
You Don’t Need a Perfect Plan for the Year Ahead
Mid-January is a beautiful time to let go of the pressure to have everything mapped out.
ACT offers this gentle reframe:
You don’t need to know your entire path. You only need to know what matters in this moment — and take one step in that direction.
That step can be small. It can be imperfect. It can coexist with doubt.
What matters is not how impressively you start the year — but how honestly you choose to live it.
Curious About Exploring Values-Based Therapy?
If you’re feeling stuck, disconnected, unmotivated, or quietly longing for something more meaningful, you’re not alone.
ACT-informed therapy offers a compassionate, structured way to clarify your values, set sustainable goals, and move forward with greater self-trust and intention.
If you’d like to explore this work together, individual therapy sessions can support you in reconnecting with what matters most and building a life that feels more aligned — not just in January, but throughout the year.
You deserve a life guided not by pressure or perfection, but by what feels deeply true to you.
